The idea for this project came up from my father’s insistence in being photographed at moments of sadness, when he was crying. These moments were results of depression, which was, sometimes, enhanced by drunkenness. My dad used to state that people only remember to register happy moments and that they always make a point of affirming, through photography, they are happy regardless it is the truth. A sort of self-assertion, once mentioned by Sontag* (I could swear my dad has never read her books).

Although almost all the moments when I took these pictures my dad wasn’t sad nor crying, the process was painful for me. Many times, I thought it could be the last time I was there with him.

For many years I denied my dad’s alcoholism, I wouldn’t talk about it and I would judge him for his choices of not taking our help nor seeking treatment. It was only after accepting his condition, perhaps alongside my own maturity, that I could understand him and comprehend it as part of my own life. It was then, when I started talking about it and decided to photograph him.

The analogue camera used to shoot this project was was a present I got from my father when I first told him, many years ago, I wanted to become a photographer.

My dad kept sober for two weeks, the entire time I was there with him. He drank again on Christmas day.

* Susan Sontag – On Photography